Parenting & Communication Styles
Parenting & Communication: Building Safe, Connected Families
Every family communicates in their own way—through words, gestures, and even habits online. Your communication style as a parent shapes your family’s emotional climate, and plays a huge role in whether kids feel safe, understood, and supported.
So why does it matter? It’s more than words. Tone, body language—even text messages and emails—help your child read how you’re really feeling.
Additionally, communication teaches connection & trust. How parents express themselves helps children develop self‑regulation, empathy, and problem‑solving skills.
Four Parenting Communication Styles
Research shows parent communication tends to fall into one of four styles:
- Authoritarian: This style is characterized by high control and low responsiveness. Authoritarian parents set strict rules, expect obedience, and often use punishment to enforce compliance. Communication is typically one-way, from parent to child, with little room for discussion or negotiation.
- Authoritative: This style combines high control with high responsiveness. Authoritative parents set clear expectations and boundaries, but they also listen to their children’s perspectives, encourage open communication, and provide support and guidance. They use reasoning and explanations to help children understand the rules and consequences.
- Permissive: This style is characterized by low control and high responsiveness. Permissive parents are warm and nurturing, but they don’t set clear limits or expectations for their children’s behavior. They often avoid confrontation and allow their children to make their own decisions, sometimes without sufficient guidance.
- Uninvolved: This style is characterized by low control and low responsiveness. Uninvolved parents are often neglectful, providing little emotional support or guidance. They may be detached from their children’s lives and not actively involved in their upbringing.
There’s no “perfect” style. What matters most is balance—mixing warmth with clear expectations creates the healthiest environment for kids. Authoritative communication—warm, consistent, and responsive—is linked to the best outcomes: higher self-esteem, emotional well‑being, and social skills.
Tips for Strong, Respectful Communication
- Stay aware of tone and body language. A gentle voice and open posture encourage trust; harsh tones or crossed arms can shut down conversation.
- Listen first, respond second. Show your child you value their thoughts—ask, “How do you feel?” before explaining your view.
- Explain expectations and reasons. Kids learn best when they understand why—share your reasoning, not just the rule.
- Use discipline to teach, not punish. Encourage learning through mistakes—approach setbacks as chances for growth and together problem-solving.
When Communication Breaks Down
If you notice your child seems anxious, shut down, or often argues, it might be time to reevaluate how you talk and listen to each other. PAFSA is here to help. Visit our online store for brochures and resources related to communicating about specific topics.
